The Girls

A few years back the wife and I went to attend our friends vow renewals in St. Augustine Fl. It was truly an event. A party of approximately 20 people all dressed in black, standing right outside the Old Cemetery while a Buddhist Monk presided over the ceremony.

For the passersby it was quite the photo op. A statuesque blonde and a tall brooding devil, two extremely immense intense presences, reaffirming their collective pairing through this life. And probably the next, knowing those two.


The ceremony done, the dinner celebration done, and with a change of clothes out little troop heads off to the St. Augustine Lighthouse Dark of the Moon tour.

Now before I go further I should qualify that I do believe in ghosts. Not going to get into a philosophical debate as to why, I just do period of story. Ok, so not end of story but it was the end of that sentence. Toss of, wankers.

I should also state that at the start of all this I was introduced to my very first real life Witch. ***** SCREAM, HIDE THE CHILDREN*********
Admittedly I was somewhat disappointed as she didn’t have a broom of a cat or anything. Just a very pleasant lady who some might consider a bit eccentric. She had been informed about me and was eager to meet me. Still not sure why that was.

Shaking my hand, “You’ve got to be kidding me. He is off the charts.” She said advising the bride to be renewed? Not sure how to phrase that, bride to be renewed makes it sound like she is getting reupholstered or something.

Bah, you get the point.

I had no real clue as to what she meant.

Back to the tour.

If you ever go they give you the option of renting an EMF meter, that is some ghost buster meter but nowhere near as cool as the one Egon uses in the movie. A small little hand held device with a row of various colored lights at the top and the more of them that light up the stronger the EMF field. I did not have to rent one as my new friend was packing her own gear and handed me one, that she advise had been calibrated by some scientist in a lab in a secret underground bunker somewhere.

Or maybe a guy she knew at work, I can’t remember.

So off we go into the night with our tour guide. Our first stop was the Light Keepers house. The whole group filed in and sat in prearranged chairs. The wife and I sat in the back. I figured someone would jump out, or a ‘ghost’ would fall from the ceiling etc. Being near the back I could make a quick escape and no one would notice any fear pee should there be any.

The tour guide goes through his schpeel. A few of the meters are going off, one maybe 2 lights accompanied by a high pitched tone. It’s mostly dark. The building is old.

Kinda creepy.

Right about the time our lecturer starts talking about a ships wheel sometimes spinning of its own accord. My EMF Meter PEGS! And it sounds like a damned fire alarm.

It didn’t stop. Just solid lights and the deafening tone.   Seriously so loud that the guide had to raise his voice to talk over it.

The freshly minted groom came over with his meter using it like a Geiger counter all around me, and nothing even registered on his.

It was centered directly on me.

I was vaguely aware of heads swiveling and all the eyes, yes every last damned one, taking in the spectacle that was me. I imagine I looked like a pathetic disco, with the pulsating lights and horrendous tone that kind of sounds like an ambulance in its own death throws.

Somewhere to my right I heard witchy woman exclaim, “I knew it.” As she rushed over to me she instructed me to stay calm adding that nothing bad would happen to me. Which is what they tell people who are fixing to have something very bad happen to them.

Counterproductive attempts lesson 5

The odd thing was that I was in fact calm. I mean I want all happy go lucky but I was calm.

Right when the meter had gone off, now this is where it get weird, I felt something jump in my lap or at least the sensation there of. To try and help quantify it, those of you who have kids, remember when they would run and jump into your lap?

Yeah, just like that.

Somehow I knew it was a little girl. How you ask? Well you see when some dies and they don’t want to leave…… yeah I don’t have a fucking clue how I knew, but I did.

I have tried to come up with an analogy but my brain went on strike evidently. Time to look into outsourcing again.

And there she sat, perched on my lap. I could even feel her swinging her legs back and forth.

There was no malice in the feeling, only a little girl who wanted some attention and to have a bit of play time.

I did move seats to make sure this was not some weird trick of the air or other parlor trick and she came right back every time I moved. Truth be told I think I felt her starting to get a bit ticked off the third time I moved.

When the tour guide said it was time to move on I leaned down just like a father, “I have to go now, k? So you go and play, k hun?” And she was gone. EMF meter went dark and thankfully silent.

I can tell you what period her clothes were from, what color her hair was, if she was smiling, if she was horribly disfigured, I have no idea. I don’t generally see these things. It is more of a feeling, queue Blue Swede.

Only when the little girl had left did I notice that I was sweating, and a feeling of being quickly drained hit me. Trying not to stagger, I encountered good natured ribbing from our little group as well as looks of WTF from outsiders.

On with the tour.

Through the basement of the house. Out into the courtyard and onto the light house.

Towering above all surrounding it was the Lighthouse. The white spiraling stripes glowing reflecting the light coming from the surrounding neighborhood.   And everyone filed in.

The offer was given that we could climb the 150 or so feet to the top of the lighthouse. Some went, other went outside.

I felt on overwhelming urge to sit the hell down. My wife indicated that she was NOT going to the top of the spire and sat with me. She chatted with our mistress of magic who repeatedly asked me if I was ok, to which I said “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be? I get the ghost of a little girl in my lap nearly, well every once in a while, Ok so that never happened before but I am fine.”

Laughter. Yes, real laughter from real people even. I checked by poking my wife in the ribs thus stopping the laughter.

The climbers descended and walked out of the tiny building at the base of the light house, and for some stupid reason I decided it was a good idea to climb up now. All alone.

I have never once claimed to be a particularly bright individual.

Up I go.


In the mostly dark. Sparse light spilling down from above.

For those that haven’t been the staircase is set up a bit differently. They do curl around the curve of the wall, and basically you go up a flight then across a flat landing, up the next flight and so on.

Right when I got to the far side of the first landing, BLEEEEEETTTTTTTT. My old friend the EMF meter flares to life.

“Is she back?” came the question from below.

“Looks like it.”

But something was different. Still felt like a little girl but somehow different. It was a different little girl.

I got the distinct feeling of a playful child again. Tugging my hand forward, up the stairs.

Ya know when they are so excited to get somewhere and are just pulling you as hard as they can to get there faster? Same kind of thing. I found myself actually leaning over, just like when I had young children.

I’m not sure if the giggling I heard was real or a byproduct of my brain trying to rationalize all this but I could swear I heard it.

As I got to the second landing the EMF went dark.

I stood there for a second, puzzled. Then I caught myself asking out loud, “Where did you go?” Some unknown reason I knew she was waiting at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. And my crazy mouth said, “Oh, you’re playing with me huh?”

A disturbing warmth settled over me. Disturbing that there was no reason for this warmth, and it was the exact opposite of all the “cold sensations” I had heard about in relation to ghosts.

Quite simply the feeling was one of love.

Sure enough off to the eager child and sure enough she was there. Tugging me up to the top.

So it went at every landing, then halfway up the last set of stairs she vanished. No sensation at all. I went on out the door to the top railing and there were two other tour guides up there looking at me quizzically.

“We thought there someone just came out here, like a few seconds ago.”

“Oh that must have been the little girl who pulled me up here,” I replied nonchalantly. Hey, at this point I was getting used to it all.

They laughed at my remark. Point at my EMF meter “Was that you making all that noise all the way up here?”

“Sure was.”

“We have never heard anything like that.”

For some reason that rattled me, “Well even though the view is lovely,” really not much to see at night, “I guess I will go back down now.”

Plunging back into the darkness I wondered where my friend went. “Pull me all the way up here and just leave. Some might consider that rude ya know?” Thankfully no one was around to hear me talking to empty space.

About halfway across the top landing I felt something rush past me. Again I could swear I heard giggling, and at the first step down she was there tugging me down the stairs. Still only joy and the playful demeanor of a child was the overall sensation that I got from my ethereal friend.

All the way down I chatted with her. “Do you always play with people who visit here? Do you like staying here? Is that your sister in the house across the way?”

I never got any type of response, but somehow think she liked being asked questions other than, “Do you need help crossing over?” Figured since she had probably heard that one about a hundred thousand times I would change it up a bit.

Then right before I stepped onto the last landing the tugging changed direction. She was trying to pull me up again. “No No honey. I can’t go back up there. My knees can’t take it, besides you know I can’t stay you know that.”

One last tug, just like a kid saying a pouty “fine” and she was gone.

My wife was waiting for me just outside the front door, “I listened to you talking to someone all the way up there. Was it the same girl?”

“Nope, a different one.”

Our alternate spiritual advisor looked at me and said, “Well I knew you were special but this is ridiculous.”

I took two steps forward and practically collapsed on a bench there. I was completely winded, out of energy. Panic started to take over.

“Oh, they like your energy,” our new friend said.

“Great for them, not so much for me,” was my reply.

“Take a minute, you’ll be ok and you are going to sleep great tonight.”

Now the events above can all be verified by multiple independent sources. Does that make it real?

I don’t know. I would like to think it does as my imagination cannot make an EMF meter go off. Especially continually like that.

The words above pale in comparison to what I actually experienced. To do that would be at least novella length story and no one wants that much. When I say I was exhausted, I mean just that, completely exhausted.

I have played and referees rugby ‘til I could barely walk, and this was so far beyond that I am not even sure how to put it into perspective. The only thing close would to suddenly loose someone very close to you, then multiply that by a factor of around….23.453759, then run a marathon, get run over by a truck…you get the point.

I have had experiences prior and since then, but nothing that intense.

Don’t know if you believe or don’t, doesn’t really matter as I do.  If you check you will find that there are two children that reportedly died near the site.  There seems to be some difference of opinion of how old they were.

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