Courtesy in Traffic

Pet Peeve time.

Courtesy in traffic.

I have the great luxury of going to work via an Interstate. Some call such ribbons of asphalt highways, freeways, motorways, or even dual carriage ways. The last one kills me.

Really?

Dual Carriageway?

Romanticize much?

Deranged party of one, your table is ready.

In my state I have been told that the traffic law I grew up with has been done away with. For those who are confused, when I was taught to drive it was that one stayed in the right hand lane until a need arose to pass a vehicle. Then one would simply slide to the left, pass said moron, then slide back over into the right lane.

Thus the left lane was free and clear as much as possible. If one did ride in the left lane they might be rewarded with pretty blue light that flashed accompanied by the traditional “WHOOP WHOOP” sound. There two things announced to them that they were the lucky recipients of a friendly chat with an officer of the law. This was due to the fact that they had committed a traffic infraction.

Now I’m not sure why this law went away. I can speculate several reasons but shall refrain, I shall say that unless in a major metropolitan area please have a bit of courtesy and use the left lane(s) as intended.

Now I do have to admit that I myself will sometimes get caught up in whatever and find myself in the wrong lane from time to time. When I am made aware of this, often times by the middle finger of the person behind me, I dutifully get over out of their way. I take their stares and ranting’s in stride as I have earned them be being a selfish idiot.

No harm no foul. I get correctly berated for my stupidity and they get a story to tell their friends to boost their own self worth.

Now for some perspective I shall use the three lanes I get to utilize every day, giving the probable thoughts of the people behind you when you don’t belong in that lane.

Right lane Middle Lane Left lane
Normal person All good I gotta pee, MOVE 3 cups of coffee and two bran muffins…MOVE DAMMIT
Good church going folk All good All good Ok now you’re testing my faith
Trucker I hate you Wanna see tomorrow?? **Insert uncensored Yosemite Sam rant here**
Beamer driver I’m better than you I’m better than you I’m better than you

Samuel L. Jackson disciples

This one is just the words Mutha F***** drawn out to various lengths, the longer it takes to say it the more trouble you are in

Drag Queens

Gurl

GURLLLLLL

Bitch, I am from Chicago

The above is often followed by the words “Bye Felicia” when they finally pass you
Myself Seriously WTF?? Here I would combine pretty much all of the above into this tiny square
Gingers of the world For this take a bit of the Beamer, mix with Samuel Disciples and add a generous dash of Drag Queens and then for good measure sprinkle a few more ‘creative’ phrases

This is of course my own little insignificant opinion and holds no weight in reality. If you should happen to see someone that has Jack Skellington headrests in your rear view mirror having what might appear to be an aneurysm, do us both a favor? As soon as possible please slide gently to the right.

OK? Yeah, thanks.

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